I haven’t written *anything* in a long time - 3 months to be exact. So now, I’m just going to write about whatever’s in my head…
On Saturday, I volunteered at work again - another chance to earn overtime. I would say it was probably it was probably one of my most successful days at work. I completed a task not many have achieved, although it took me 12 hours to do it! And, it’s not the fact that it took so long to complete. I *know* I’m not the fastest tech - and I’m okay with that. What bothers me is that I gave my entire day for this. For what?! At the end of the day, I didn’t feel accomplished. I wasn’t proud of the work I had done…I was just tired.
And I was back at it again today. I don’t want *this*. I don’t want just mere success. I want *victory*. Victory over my personal fears, over my failures, over my critics & naysayers…Can’t look back anymore…Must look forward.
Of course there are always things we would change about our past if we could, different choices we would make. A left turn instead of right, no instead of yes. But we can’t live with Regrets. That only leads to Resentment, of our loved ones, of ourselves. And that anger and frustration will only cause to Repeat those same mistakes, choices, over again. All we can really do is learn from our experiences, grow to make better choices the next time around. Because there will always be a next time.
HOME WANTED
I’m so tired of moving
I just want to begin living
I want a Home
A home where books line the walls
A home where laughter fills the halls
A home where the children can play
A home where unity is the order of the day
I want a Home
A home that is sanctuary for all in need
A home that is void of pain and greed
A home that is blessed with warmth and care
A home that knows no despair
I want a Home
A home that is infested with Love
Because a house is not a home
Until that Home is all of the above.
Whatever New York was meant to be for me, it wasn’t. It just is what it is. And I’m taking it all with me!
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That’s breaking my skin.
Well I’ll hide all the bruises,
I’ll hide all the damage that’s done.
But I show how I’m feeling until all the feeling has gone.
